"The weight no one sees - the end" or "Since no one will do it for us, what can we do among ourselves?"

"You just need to delegate." As if delegation were magic.

As if delegating solved anything, given that the other person only does something if handed step-by-step instructions like a five-year-old on a scavenger hunt.

You ask.

You explain.

You repeat.

And still:

• The trash bins continue to be full.

• The food goes into the fridge in the hot pot with no lid.

• The dish is finally in the dishwasher, but the sink is left dirty, and the drain has all the food scraps.

  
  

And they even ask why you're stressed.

Then you explode - or implode - but not before hearing you're overreacting, that you need to chill, and that it's "just a matter of asking."

The truth is, no one wants to have to ask for everything all the time.

Asking is already work.

Planning is work.

Thinking is work. And on top of doing almost everything, you still have to manage the other adult.

Micromanaging isn't a flaw. It's a symptom.

The result of years of trying to hold a system where you're the one who has to think for everyone.

And even in the middle of all that, you still blame yourself.

Because guilt is the cherry on top of the structural cake.

So now what? We already know this has a name, a history, and a system.

But what do we do with it?

This text won't wash your dishes. Or guarantee you a nap.

But maybe it reminds you of what you already knew and forgot:

You're not crazy. You're not alone. And you don't have to carry it all in silence.

That's the seed.

Maybe you're reading this and thinking, “Okay. This person lit the fire, pointed straight at the problem, and now that’s it? That’s how it ends?”

Hold on, I get it. You want a solution! But the real question is: what kind?

Because sometimes, what’s called a solution just feels like another task.

And on certain days, all we want is comfort, not another checklist.

But let´s do it! Let me share a few ideas, practical and imperfect:

• First and most important: stop saying “Can you help me with the household chores?

It’s not about help, it’s not a favor. It’s their responsibility too. Their home, their relationship, their child. Instead, say: “We need to share the load, let´s talk and solve it together.” Language matters. It shapes expectations.

• Name what you do. Say it out loud. Make a list. Not to accuse, but to make the invisible visible.

• Pick a conversation you've been avoiding. Set a time. Write it down if needed. Talk about how you feel, not just what’s missing.

• Let go of one item. Just one.The lopsided laundry pile. The snack without a note. Let it go and rest.

• Ask a friend if she feels this too. If she does, think of something together. A swap, a check-in, a support circle.

• Plan a “tired mom meetup.” A safe hour. A couch. Coffee.Laughter. Or tears. Whatever shows up.

• Bring the topic somewhere. Into a therapy session. A group. A post. A class. What becomes conversation becomes consciousness.

• Share this series on your social media and in your groups. Spread it to spark conversations and raise awareness.

• And if you can’t do anything right now, that’s okay. Save this. Come back later, when it feels possible.

Now tell me: what's the first weight you're going to release or at least name today?

You don’t have to be alone in this discomfort. Or in trying to change it.

And before I wrap up this text, let me tell you something:

At one point, while writing all of this, I realized I was only speaking to those who already get it. Those who already feel the weight, know the exhaustion, and have cried quietly at the kitchen sink.

But what about the one who lives with you?

Who sleeps next to you?

Who says he wants to help but freezes with two tasks?

Who thinks everything is fine while you're silently burning out?

Yeah. That conversation is coming as a new series.

"Not all men". Yet, someone always asks why you're exhausted without ever wondering who made the last 132 invisible decisions.

That talk is next.

But today... It was for you.