The weight no one sees - part 2 or "who taught you that caring was your duty?"

You were born into a world that had already decided who would take care of whom.

And believe me: it wasn’t by accident.

For centuries, caregiving work — feeding, cleaning, birthing, nurturing — was seen as a natural part of family life. But it was during the Industrial Revolution that the divide between "productive work" and "domestic work" truly deepened, especially among the middle and upper classes.

As men were pushed into factories, caregiving was confined to homes and reframed as a "female vocation" rather than actual work.

What once had been communal and shared became a solitary responsibility.

The house became a "home."

The woman became the "lady of the house".

Time became a clock.

And the world decided: "Work" is what happens outside. What happens inside is just a woman’s duty.

And care was rebranded as her “natural” role or "instinct".

It wasn’t a choice. It was a social strategy.

Because keeping a woman at home meant a man could work longer, produce more, and be more profitable. All without worrying about laundry, meals, or child care.

The woman became the support system.

But no one called it work.

They called it a “calling.”

And so was born the myth of the virtuous woman: tireless, sweet, organized, devoted. A person who cares simply because she was "born to."

The famous “maternal instinct.”

(Spoiler: it’s not instinct. It’s construction. And it’s very, very convenient.)

Now, the question is:

If it was all so “natural,” why did we have to fight so hard to get out of it?

In the 1960s and 70s, the image of the perfect woman started to crack.

The second wave of feminism brought civil rights movements, the fight for autonomy, sexual freedom, family planning, and workplace equality.

And yes, came the symbol people still love to mock: the burning of bras.

(Which, by the way, didn’t happen as a mass event — but the image stuck.)

And it became a joke.

“These angry, hysterical women,” they said.

All because they wanted to exist without disappearing.

But entering the workforce didn’t come with an equal share at home.

It came with double the workload.

Now women work outside and inside.

Earn less, are judged more, and still wonder if they’re good enough mothers.

And when they collapse?

The blame falls on them.

“Maybe you chose wrong.”

“Who told you you could have it all?”

The system hasn’t changed.

The only difference is that now it’s packaged with beige filters, self-care slogans, and captions about "having it all if you just manage your time right."

Looks great on Instagram.

In real life, you’re still exhausted.

So, tell me:

How many times have you skipped resting just to make sure something was done “the right way”?

In the next post, you will read about how mental overload becomes the norm and why guilt always seems to land in the lap of those who are trying hardest to keep it all together. Also, how to step away from it a little.